Thailand – A Wild Ride. From crunchy worms in Pattaya to a train to the end of the world!

We’re taking off our ties, putting aside those boring travel agency guidebooks and diving headfirst into pure Thai madness! Thailand isn’t just another country to tick off the map – it’s an absolute wild ride, where heavenly views clash with total, neon-lit chaos, and luxury shares a plastic cup with the hustle and bustle of the streets. Fasten your seatbelts, because I’m taking you on a journey through our epic adventure!

Pattaya: floating markets, the underwater world and hardcore culinary experiences

Our main base was Pattaya, and it was here that we took the plunge (both literally and figuratively). We started with the famous Pattaya Floating Market. Imagine a huge, bustling market, but instead of cobbled alleys, there are canals, and instead of shopping trolleys – traditional wooden boats! You float along, haggle, buy souvenirs and soak up the incredible atmosphere.

Straight afterwards, we changed scenery to something a bit deeper and ended up at Underwater World Pattaya. It’s a massive aquarium with a huge underwater tunnel. The feeling when sharks, giant stingrays and bizarre sea creatures swim literally centimetres from your nose is pure magic.

But Pattaya isn’t just about sightseeing – it’s, above all, a city that takes off its mask and hits the town once the sun goes down. The famous ‘Sin Street’ (aka Walking Street) sucks you in like a walking hoover! The neon lights burn into your retinas, music booms from the bars, and the streets and promenades instantly fill with crowds of escort girls who loudly and unashamedly vie for the tourists’ attention. This place oozes exoticism, nocturnal temptations and an incredible, thick energy. You sit there with a cold beer in your hand and simply soak up this pulsating, mesmerising spectacle.

It was right here, in Pattaya – and not in Bangkok! – that we treated ourselves to a culinary bungee jump. Sweet treats weren’t enough, so we moved on to fried, crunchy insects and stringy jellyfish. Thai street food by the coast is a game of Russian roulette, which we (think we) won with our bellies full.

To balance out this madness, the next day we boarded a local boat bobbing on the waves and sailed to a neighbouring island. White sand, picture-postcard beaches, blue water and total relaxation under the palm trees. And the next day? We spent it doing absolutely, blissfully NOTHING. In Thailand, that’s a must-do.

Bangkok: a train at a market stall and lunch in the clouds

After a few days of relaxation, we mustered our strength and set off on a trip to Bangkok and the surrounding area. The level of absurdity and fascination quickly went off the scale!

First up was the famous Maeklong Railway Market. You’re standing there amongst the market stalls, looking at the vegetables, when suddenly, with the wail of a siren, a huge locomotive comes hurtling straight at you! In a fraction of a second, the stallholders fold up their awnings and baskets like professional magicians; the train passes within millimetres of your toes, and then everything’s back in place in three seconds. The adrenaline rush is far better than a triple espresso!

Bangkok also treated us to some incredible contrasts. First, we took a high-speed lift up to the 89th floor of the legendary Baiyoke Sky Hotel (the tallest building with a revolving terrace) to have lunch literally in the clouds, with the whole metropolis at our feet. Pure, elegant luxury. And in the evening? In the evening, we ended up at a night market, where we strolled in the shadow of a massive, real passenger aeroplane wedged between the market stalls!

And it was there, in Bangkok, that we came across a culinary master. An unassuming street-food virtuoso of the frying pan, whom we proudly christened ‘Grandad’s Place’. No Michelin stars here – just plastic chairs, the street, an oilcloth, and a bowl of phenomenal coconut chicken soup (Tom Kha Gai). To top it off, we tucked into local Roti pancakes with egg and fruit, served straight from a cart. A flavour you’ll never forget for the rest of your life.

Third class to the end of the world

After the hustle and bustle of Bangkok, we returned to Pattaya for a few more days of total, blissful relaxation. We needed to recharge our batteries before the grand finale.

We wouldn’t be ourselves, though, if we hadn’t done something absolutely mad right at the very end. We bought tickets for a local third-class train and set off on an all-day journey into the unknown. Forget about air-conditioning and comfortable seats – there was just the wind in our hair from the open windows, an old carriage as hot as an oven, and the steady clatter of the wheels. That train took us to the proverbial end of the world. We reached places where a white tourist with a camera simply doesn’t venture, and where real, unvarnished Thai life goes on at its own unhurried, fascinating pace.

Bangkok and Pattaya weren’t just an ordinary trip. It was a bold, beautiful clash of worlds. A paradise beach in the morning, a head in the clouds at midday, crunching insects in the evening, and at night a party and a train that runs right through the middle of the market. Thailand draws you in and takes no prisoners! If you haven’t been there yet, add it to your bucket list straight away!